The call

Paul says I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have everything you needed. I have always felt that I really related to that scripture.

We started out going to serve I don't even know how many, in our minds 50 but 100 showed up. More than 100 and I'll admit, I was stressing out about not having enough. I'm a feeder. Someone who feeds others, its not what I do, its who I am. 

I've had days in my life when I've gone to bed hungry because there just wasn't enough. To hand the kids a scope full of rice and beans that I wouldn't have served as a side scoop wasn't enough for me. 

To know that there are children in the mountains that are sick because they drink dirty water and some of them don't even have water is just not ok with me.

Have you ever had a sick child and I'm not talking about sick like a cold, I mean sick like chronic illness sick and you,can't make them well? You can do all you can but its not enough. It will never be enough. Well, I have.

I, at any point in my daughter's jra would have given my right arm to make her well. I did all I could. I had and still do have resources.

Resources are not,my issue, but after being up in the mountains, resources are the issue there is no work there is no food there is no water. 

And yet I,feel I must do something.

I must not,be arrogant and think I can change this by myself. But to humble myself before a mighty God and just say "here I am, send me".

Can I make a call to get a well dug? Can I assemble a team to dig the well? Can I serve Jesus by working with another organization to serve the people in the village of this mountain.

I don't know what I can do, but I know I must do something. 

Something.

I am not in a time in my life when I lack in resources, praise be to God. Heck, I'm not even at a time in my life when my friends are lacking in resources (oh yes, I'll be calling you lol). You see this isn't something I do because God says it in the bible and maybe for me that's how it started, I went because He said go, I give water and food because he said to, but for me this is,something planted so deeply in my heart that it is who I,am, Haiti is not a place I come to so that I can check off the box in my walk with Jesus, the card that seems right to play next, Haiti is a place that feels like home, a place when the bible says in Galatians 6  make the most of,every opportunity that I take that to the deepest parts of,my heart and let it be planted and grow into something to feed others, to give them Jesus to others.

The day before the trip.

I’ve had so much to say in the last couple days but never enough time to put ‘pen to paper’ and let me tell you, that’s busy for me, I love writing.

I leave for Haiti tomorrow, and I am nervous and excited and I cannot wait to hug muffins, hand out suckers, and just love people.  I am looking forward to just soaking up the sun, seeing new parts of Haiti that I’ve never seen before.  It’s exciting to serve Jesus.  So many people think that it’s so great that I give my vacation time up to serve others, I promise you, I am the one who is blessed.

I’ve had a million distractions in the last week, craziness has come my way.  I can tell you sometimes I handled it really well, and sometimes… well, I am thankful for God’s grace.

There have been so many moments when I have heard the voice of God, I have seen His miracles all over the place, and there have been moments when I haven’t heard or felt Him at all. 

April 7th 2014.. The choice

Its 3:20 in the morning and I'm not even sure how I feel or why I'm awake for crying out loud I need to be up in two hours. 

I posted my thoughts that I had written from the last few days and I posted them just as I typed them I didn't correct the grammar or the weird commas everywhere because this phone in working on is just different and not that easy to navigate.

Can I just tell you? Everytime I come here it seems harder and harder to,leave and this time is no different.  Its will probably come as no surprise to you that I'm absolutely a crying mess. My heart is split into two hundred pieces. 

And I'm not sure what is next but I know this will be a time of preparation. 

I know it means getting a lot of things in order. Its time to sow. Its time to listen, to be obedient, to be faithful. There will be a time of harvest but right but right now its a time of preparation, and that means keeping my heart turned toward Jesus. Listening and slowing down. I can't hear Jesus in the chaos.

What's next? 

I'm not sure the calendar will tell me, and I might be telling the calendar to go bag it... God has a different plan for me...

I'm so scared and so excited about what's next. I'm pretty sure,God is going to knock my socks off and blow my mind... And break my heart.

Where You go I will follow, oh God send me!

Gt6 mission team, march 28th to April 4th

What can we do for their future?

WHAT CAN WE DO FOR THEIR FUTURE?
The children are the hope and future of a country. They are whom should be the priority of a nation.
Every one in five children in Haiti does not have access to drinking water and end up living in the streets without ever stepping foot in a school. While living in the streets, they are obligated to depend on kindness from abroad. They often take to the streets to beg, and this public presentation of need makes them extremely vulnerable. The traffickers and the gangs then know exactly who to target. This is how our youth begin working as slaves, obtaining firearms, and committing sordid crimes - because they’re so vulnerable.
For the children living in densely populated urban slums, their lives are full of danger and difficulty. The children are defenseless to the gang culture, they have very little to eat, and they often have no possibility of ever learning to read or write. There are also few safe places where they can play with their friends in such a dense and hazardous neighborhood.
It is very common for parents to actually give up their children, because they don’t have the means to take care of them. This was the case for me. The luckiest kids are the ones who find a NGO (National Government Organization) to take care of them. Second best would be the ones taken in by an orphanage - hopefully one with some funds. Even the lives of the exploited are often better than living on the streets. They usually get fed, and a select few even gain the privilege to attend school! However, they pay for it in child labor or many times physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. The problem is, children have no option to speak out against the crimes against them. If they leave their abusers, they leave their only option for food and shelter.
The future of Haiti is dark because the children that survive in these instances will soon become the adult population. Then add in the hatred, the abandonment, instinct of survival, etc. The emotional wellbeing of our future will also be broken. When our future members of society are treated as and labeled an “animal,” how will they act as adults? How will they put their mark on Haiti? I can only anticipate that it won’t be a positive mark. Something has to be done to change this current track, or we’ll continue to cope with the product of our society.